What on Earth do you mean, you haven’t got any Hallowe’en plans!? Ohh, very well, then, let us lay it out for you. First off, in the expensivo range, there’s Glamourazzi, Blue Star’s (luxe Savvy brand) vodka-sodden fundraiser. It costs $50 to get in, and you’d best have your Lady Gaga-worthy self together, but it promises ultra-heights of fabulousness, with an “art plus fashion after dark” theme. Yowza! (210) 222-2464. 

On the earthier, DIY tip, there’s Dia de los Craftos, a handmade-revolution extravaganza at El Sol Studios showcasing the wares of the awesome artisans of the San Antonio Etsy gang (btw, have you seen regretsy.com? GO NOW.), tunes by Blue Means Go, fortune-telling, face-painting for the kiddos, free goody bag for the first 25 shoppers, and it’s FREE. elsolstudios.com, (210) 371-4042. 

And what about the Beethoven? Celebrate the witching hour Deutsche-style at the Monster Monster Shindig, with bands Dead Children, 100 Hands, the Sandworms, Saturday Night Satellites, and DJs John Mata and Spaceman. There’ll be a costume contest, too. (210) 222-1521, beethovenmaennerchor.com.

Meanwhile Sam’s Burger Joint’s got Calavera Fest II, with Bombasta, Mexican Stepgrandfather, DJ Chorizo Funk from Austin, and (awright!) live Aztec Dancers from the renowned Teokalli Aztec Dance Troupe. samsburgerjoint.com.

Or, you could stay home, hand out Pecan Logs, and watch The Lost Boys and Pet Sematary on TCM, and wait seven years for H’-ween to hit a Saturday again. We say DVR, watch them to assuage your hangover. And get a designated driver. — Sarah Fisch